A blind wolf in his own clothing

 jimmy X curly fanfiction

please take in mind the triggering contents behind "Mouthwashing"
I recommend checking out this website to check for triggers, also keep in mind this is written from Jimmy's perspective.

The wailing, even when it stops it feels drilled into jimmy's head. The way every groan somehow sounded so similar to the sound of the ships side scraping against the incoming debris , he couldn't let it bother him now. He had to keep up the façade that this was all Curly's fault. sliding the cover of the sleeping bag that was laid out on the hard ground of what use to be a pleasant lobby for everyone to sit at, Jimmy eyes over the other's sleeping: no Anya and of course....No Curly. He'd make his way down to the infirmary in a huff, it was tiring keeping an eye on such a dainty and fragile woman but it was worse thinking about her being around Curly. Caring for Curly, being the one that Curly always sees in his time of need. It didn't matter if Anya couldn't handle administrating the medication and had him do it, he needed to be Curly's savior. He'll forgive him if he is, Curly will remember how good and exceptional he is and why he was chosen to be the co-pilot; if he could just secure some murmur of praise everything could be fixed.

Opening the door he'd find Anya looking over Curly longingly, She should feel sorry after all. If she had just kept quit he would have never had to be in this situation in the first place, none of them would be. "give me that" His voice broke out in a gruff from having used is larynges for the first time in hours as he snatched the bottle of pain meds. Anya instinctively flinched before Jimmy had even made his way to her side, the moment he walked in the air tensed. Grabbing the bottle from her hands "Jimmy wait-" She'd be cut off by the unneeded hostile rattling from Jimmy opening the bottle. "I know were running low but I can't handle this lack of sleep" Jimmy would stop for a moment, as if any weak sense of humanity meant anything at this point. Both of them knew the monster he was. "Leave." He turned his head to peer at Anya over his shoulder. "We both know you can't handle this" Pretending like he cares what harms her, Anya would hesitate before leaving quickly after. As if itching for it to happen the moment the doors shut he'd grab the bandaged covered man ,his nails digging into the bandages and the raw skin. "you're fine, we're fine" He'd persist, his rough hands were like agonizing needles on Curly's skin. Jimmy would loosen his grip, tears forming in his eyes as he'd forcefully press the pill down the other man's throat. The gagging and sputtering filled the room and quieted the persistent wailing, just like it does every time.

I haven't written something in a hot second aside from some academic work so I thought I would throw something out there for the sake of getting back into things


I also posted it on tumblr!