grieving the alive

does the feeling of wanting someone or something back, as if they are dead, ever stop? i don't know. i mean its only been 7 months since april 1st, but i still cry every time i think about that day. i have never cried so much. april 1st. i sobbed from 10 pm to 3 am, non-stop. i wouldn't eat, i'd stay in bed all day and wonder why. i remember how i feel and i remember why and it comes back to haunt me every time. everywhere, everything. i had major migrains that day from the crying and it would not stop. is this how grieving the alive feels? i can only blame myself, my ravyn's not dead