writing piece by me :3

hai guys so i like writing alot and usually i write fanfix LMAO but i wrote this for my lit n comp class nd i wanted to share pls comment what u think or how it is or how i can improve!

tw suicide

Happy Birthday. Your finally 15! I know you have been dreaming of a pretty quincenera dress since you were a little toddler. I love you so much. Im not usually a fan of hot weather, but ill go to California since you are there. I packed my baby pink dress carefully into my suitcase. Unfortunately, my pink dress would be covered with tear stains, and I would be replacing it with a black dress to see her instead. I watched her being lifted into a large hole in the ground as her girlfriend and mom screamed and clawed the dirt floor, begging her to not leave them.

I still remember how i would wake up to the sound of her slamming the door over and over, then tickling me. She knew that im not ticklish, but she just wanted to annoy me. As soon as we woke up, I felt my stomach react to the smell of re-used oil in the Mcdonalds breakfast meal sitting on the kitchen counter. My aunt didnt want to cook for my family, hers, and my cousins. She usually resorted to having a fast food breakfast delivered. I was sickeningly full by 11 am every morning. I couldnt believe my luck, since we never really ate fast food in my house.

 Her dad love(ed) her very much, and he ended up building a pool in the back of the house. The pool was beautiful, carved into the floor with a slide and a hot tub. It looked like it was straight out of a hotel. I didnt know how to swim, but I wanted to hang out with her so badly i almost drowned. The feeling i got while drowning, i imagine must have been how harmony felt before her death. I remember when we arrived to her house. I remember feeling the excitement to see her. In all honesty, I didnt really like my other cousins very much. They were all rude and mean. I liked harmony best. I liked the way she played video games and the way she stopped the others from making fun of me since my mom didnt let me watch IT. I enjoyed going to Disneyland with her, and staying up late to talk about things. I wish she had told me how she felt during those times, maybe I couldve talked to her. Maybe i couldve convinced her not to take that, not to hurt herself. I dont think I ever told her how much she means to me. She was the sweetest person i knew, and i couldnt believe she didnt see that.

Sometimes i wish it couldve been me. I thought her life was worth more than mine. I still do.

And I wish I couldve cried when I saw a beautiful horse carrying a carrgige, and I wish I knew how to properly convey the pain I felt. I also wish I knew that her casket was inside. This looked like the dream Quinceanera she wouldve wanted, and i wish she couldve seen it. Once we got to the cemetery, I saw the most impactful people in her life. The people who bullied her, her softball team she loved so much, her girlfriend. Her assulter. Every single person who had impacted her life, negative or positive was there. I wanted to kill the guy in the corner giggling. I dont think I ever felt more pain than when I saw my aunt punching my uncle because he wouldnt let her grab her baby girl. She scratched and clawed and screamed and hit anyone who tried to stop her. Her mind didnt comprehend that her daughter was gone. Mine still hasent either. I never comprehended her death, but i hope i do soon.