Small poem + explanation of its meaning

My heart beats relentlessly against its cage that is my ribs.

It begs for you to push me down and tear me apart,

Freeing it from its prison of flesh and bone.

It wishes for you to devour it,

So we may have the chance of never again being apart.

But your stomach has no room for my heart.

Unable to digest such a disgusting thing,

You would puke it all up.

It would never be put back together again.

Your very being draws in my imprisoned heart,

But you will never free my heart;

You will never even want a taste of my revoltingly slimy heart,

Which drips with blood and foul fantasies that will never reach your ears.

My persistent heart will beat against its cage,

Until I am old and withering away,

Until I can barely remember your name.

My heart’s final beat will be for you,

But you will never know it,

For my heart will forever be caged inside this repelling body.

Okay so basically this is about my experience as someone with bpd and written about my current favorite person. Poetry is one of my only escapes from my overwhelming desire to have my ideal life with them, because the “perfect” person I see and the “perfect” plan I have is not realistically achievable. This poem is a written acceptance that what I want will never be mine, because I could never admit this to myself out loud, unless I want to be bed ridden for days. I love them so much that it hurts. I wish they could even possibly feel the same.