"What if?" Two

I look at the past, when I first saw her and i wonder, "What if?" "What if I had ignored her that day?" would my life be humbled by something else or would it be the same? or would i be stupid inside my own hive mind bubble and never live? I ponder, "What if.." "What if in another timeline... "and we knew each other in real time?" Would we be happy and laugh as we watch the stars? Or would the same happen as we break apart? I look at my past actions.. "What if?" "What if i did things differently?" Would I still be here? Or would I still be with you as we faced adversity together? Would we have been friends or something more forever? But at last, those are just thoughts. I now look at you from a distance. I don't wish to be near you, for fear you might end up cutting my life short. So I will forever take precautions and guard my heart like a fort. I will forever hide my past self, leaving no trace of my existence. My mind is haunted by the good you've showed, Perhaps it was all a plan and your love was fake? I'll never know if it was, or if it was just a mistake. I plan to never know, because i don't plan to die with that show.