a healthy thought (for once)

so, i have like every goddamn mental illness under the sun (i'm exaggerating obviously), so most of my thoughts are pretty distorted and unhealthy. i'm always catastrophising, self-loathing, and basically feeling like the world is gonna end if my problem of the week doesn't get solved right this second. and lately, my concern has been the election.

i'm really scared of donald trump winning the election. i'm queer and disabled, and i'm just scared about stuff like project 2025. the usual concerns coming from a queer disabled leftist.

one night, i was agonising over it as i was falling asleep. i knew i wasn't gonna get any sleep if i kept worrying, so i tried to rationalise. i thought to myself,

"whatever happens, we will be okay. no one can take away my boyfriend, or get togethers with my friends, my sketchbook, outdoor smoke seshes, or watching comfort shows on my old tv. whatever happens, we will find a way to still have joy."

and i was just kind of surprised that a thought like that came from my own brain, especially so late at night. im so used to nighttime being a constant depression-fest, so a healthy thought like this is hard to come by.

but anyway, a few days later, i did my part. connecticut has early voting, which is nice if you have anxiety about the big crowds that regular voting usually attracts. i voted blue all the way across.

whatever happens, we will be okay.

i love you all. <3