"Twin Fantasy" by Car Seat Headrest Review

!! CONTENT WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION/SUICIDE AND OTHER RELATED TOPICS (I'll warn you when it's coming up so you can skip it)!!

I've been wanting to write this one for a hot minute, "Twin Fantasy (Face to Face)" is my favorite album of all time, and has been for the past two years. This album, without any exaggerations, changed the course of my life, permanently, and I love it for that reason. This album was the first album I heard from my favorite band of all time, and is what caused me to fall in love with music as much as I did.

It's late 2022, I'd say late November or early December, and I'm sitting in my freshman year algebra 1 class, with around an hour left in the school day. I had just started this album I saw the review for on TikTok which gave it a perfect score, I'm enjoying it a bit so far but the most notable thing is the length of the current song, it's called Beach... something, I can't look right now.

And then I hear it.

"I. DON'T. WANT. TO. GO. IN. SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE."

That was my moment.

I was stunned, I had lost focus on whatever bullshit worksheet I was doing previously, something about graphing I think, but I didn't care anymore (I still have nothing but respect for you Mrs. Howard). What had I just heard? What the fuck had I just heard? I need to focus on this album immediately, that was fucking incredible!

Beach Life-In-Death had quickly become my favorite song in that moment, hell I'm listening to it as I'm typing this and I think it might trump The Gun Song for my favorite CSH song. I continue my listen and I'm consistently blown away with each song that passes. The amazing chorus of Sober to Death, the crushing drums on Bodys, all of Famous Prophets (Stars), I simply can't get enough of it, this might just be the best album I've ever heard in my entire life.

The final track plays, Twin Fantasy (Those Boys), a title track closer, great to see. The lyrics on this song are just as great as the rest of the album, and then Will (the vocalist) starts to speak, not sing, speak.

"This is the end of the song, and it is just a song, this is a version of me and you that can exist outside of everything else, and if it is just a fantasy then anything can happen from here. The contract is up, the names have been changed, so pour one out, whoever you are, these are only lyrics now."

And then singing resumes.

"When I come back you'll still be here"

Repeated over and over, until the song concludes, with the sound of someone getting up from a chair, and leaving a room, closing the door behind them.

Wow.

What a fucking album.

That was the best album, no, the best experience I'd ever gone through, truly life changing, no other words to describe it. I had been left speechless by a piece of music, something I'd never thought would happen, I'd liked music but I never knew it could be this beautiful. Incredible.

I continue to listen to the album near daily for the remainder of the schoolyear, and into summer it becomes a weekly listen. I start to dabble into the rest of Car Seat Headrest's discography because the rest of their music must be really good as well. The next album by them I listen to is "Teens of Style" because quite frankly it has a cool cover. I start the first song, and realize something.

"I haven't looked at the sun for so long / I'd forgotten how much it had hurt to"

Those are the same lyrics that Twin Fantasy (Those Boys) started with, is all of their stuff connected like this? I listen to a bunch of their older albums, "My Back Is Killing Me Baby", "Living While Starving", "Nervous Young Man", "Monomania", "Teens of Denial", and I'm right, all of their stuff shares lyrics, holy shit.

I'm blown away once more, the only other "connected" music I had heard up to that point were album series (BROCKHAMPTON's SATURATION trilogy and various other "sequel albums") and Pink Floyd, I'd never heard recycling of lyrics like this, it was fascinating! The songs from previous albums were reused on "Teens of Style" as well, did they do that any other times?

They, in fact, did.

I discover "Twin Fantasy (Mirror to Mirror)" only took me so long because on Apple Music their discography is weird and out of order, and MTM is set as an "alternate version" of FTF even though that is usually only used for deluxe albums and stuff, anyway I listen to Mirror to Mirror and I realize just how much is changed, it's imperfect and that's what makes it so amazing, what do you mean that on Face to Face they added a whole six extra minutes? That's insane!

That day, that April 14th, 2023, was the day Car Seat Headrest became my favorite band of all time, I'd then listen to the numbered albums and "Disjecta Membra" and demos and live albums and stuff from "Nervous Young Men" and other pre-CSH projects, but that's not important at all right about now, all that's important is how much this band had changed my life.

Now this is where things get personal, that content warning at the start of the review? Yeah this is what that's for, if you don't want to hear about that you can stop reading here, you read everything mainly about Car Seat Headrest rather than mainly about me, Astrid, hi, that's me. The review's over, now it's time for the story.

October 2022 - January 2023 was the worst my depression had ever been. I hadn't taken a proper shower a single time during that entire 4 month period, my teeth were rotting due to me neglecting to take proper care of them, and I was seriously contemplating killing myself. I was also in a deep dysphoria rut, if you didn't know I'm transgender, and I truly didn't feel like myself. I had lost a lot of my friends in the transition from middle school to high school and it was taking a toll on me, a serious toll.

As depressing as their music is, and even with the amount of times it has made me cry, I can confidently say that Car Seat Headrest not only changed my life like I had said earlier, but also saved my life.

I had never been so invested in anything quite frankly, the thoughts of this band and their music had outweighed my depressive thoughts. They did not "fix" me, they did not "heal" me, I'm still depressed and I'm still trans, I don't think those will ever leave me, but if I were to say that I didn't owe Car Seat Headrest my life, I would be lying to your face.

This album, this band, and everything that followed, are the best things to ever happen to me, sure I've had some low points after my discovery of CSH, but nothing nearly as low as what I'd gone through before listening to them.