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lets talk about hobbies. yes im back for another entry... mind your business!! i am a very lonely person with no one to talk to LOL. i actually wrote this a few hrs ago, around 7am, but it is very much Not 7am anymore so.. ignore the final passage abt the sunrise haha
when i was younger, like waaayy younger, like almost closer to twenty years ago than ten younger younger, i used to do sooo many things. i used to bake. garden. i did ballet and tap dancing! i sung, and i acted for myself and no one else in my back garden
it got me a lot of injuries. like i have a scar next to my eye because i fell and sliced it on a rock ouch! i was always bruised. i was a danger to myself honestly but i was active and had fun. i used to get bullied but spending time with my granny and baking cupcakes, or watering flowers for her, always made up for it
back then, even if i was singing butchered japanese via vocaloid off vocals on youtube in front of my parents, i didn't care. i didn't have any element of embarrassment whatsoever. i used to tie my hair in pigtails to say i was miku and no one else got it at school but i did. and that's all that mattered to me. i kinda miss the lack of shame that came with being a semi-unconscious undiagnosed autistic kid yk? i was quite literally: cringe and free
anyway back to hobbies. now, i don't really.... have anything? i wish i did. i wish i had a hobby. i tried to take up colouring but i couldn't keep it up because my wrists would quickly hurt. i get joint pain there due to past injuries so :( i havent baked since i was maybe thirteen
it was small christmas puddings we made in home ec class. it was so hard because i had to wear like a cast-glove on my wrist due to, yes u guessed it, joint pain! oghh that day really pissed me off but this post isnt about the bad stuff!! nonono. not yet LOL
the puddings were small, and oh my god they were DELICIOUS. best things ive ever made. i was so proud of them, it proved to me i could still bake, i still had it. my parents had some when i got home, and they were so happy too. it made me sad because my granny died two years prior, and she never got to taste them, but i'm sure she'd find them good too.
like i said though, nowadays i dont have anything for a hobby. i honestly just rot in bed. i listen to music, read fanfics, sometimes make ocs and write shitty fics, but really not much else. i struggle to even play games yk? its sad that depressions taken that from me too. my enjoyments.
i wish i could write poetry. wish i could do colouring and make bracelets and necklaces just for myself and my friends. i'm tired of sleeping in for nothing but my own desires
maybe one day i'll pick something up again. at my core i know i'm a creative person, to a dangerous degree because i have and will lose sleep over my ideas, sorta like a mad scientist but without the cool goggles and lab coat. but totally with all of the wide eyes and hand motions and absolutely god awful hair
oh god i've gone on for so long. i suppose what i'm saying is that hobbies are uber important to someones wellbeing. you HAVE to get a hobby. idc how valid you think that hobby is, if it keeps your mind/hands busy, brings you some sense of fulfilment, thats all you need
without one i promise you youre gonna burn out! please get a hobby!!!
if you have one, no matter how cool u think it is, plz comment below! and im also open to suggestions :] specifically for easy, cheap hobbies cause i am broke. this economy is MAD!!!
i'll end this post here. ty for reading :] the sun is rising and casting this really pretty golden glow over my room. i love the sunrise and sometimes that means loving life too
- lou 
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I struggle with depression too and omg same т_т I always used to be so creative and have many hobbies and interests since childhood, to the point I'll have to make a whole meter paper list of what I was into for all those years lol. It honestly saddens too much when you think of your past self and then look at your present self — one that barely feels anything, does anything, has at least the slightest interest in anything — like you're not a human, but just a soulless human shell. Because you know you wasn't like this at all before, you know something is wrong fundamentally, but you can't help it and you just like. Rot. And that's it, it's so lame to be like this. I just hope I won't spend my 20s in depression, I don't want to be like those people who were really unfortunate and who have spent 10+ years like a corpse. It depresses me even more т_т but I have a ˡⁱⁱⁱⁱⁱⁱᵗˡᵉ hope I'll be able to live normally again, because depression is agony people around tend to overlook
depression is HORRIBLE honestly so i understand!! i've hit my 10 year anniversary no meds nothing this yr.. scary scary. especially considering how quickly time passes like what do you mean i'm twenty in TWO YEARS!?!?!? depression really steals that from you, like your awareness of the things and people around you. but there always is some light somewhere, whether thats in your favourite songs, or a tv show that makes you laugh. so i hope you're able to find more things that keep that darkness away from you for a little longer :] it's been difficult, but if even i can find reasons to keep going, even if its something silly like not being able to hear new music from my fave band, then i'm absolutely sure you can as well. stay strong <3
by lou ´･ᴗ･` 🍉; ; Report