Mothership

I never even fully realized this but the relationship you have with your mother really does set the precident on how you move through life and interact with others (especially during your childhood). Like I'm genuinely scared of my mom and she isn't even abusive or anything, but she legit terrifies me and I don't think she even knows it. During my childhood (between 8 - 14 years old) I was convinced that she hated me bc she would hit me for small mistakes and hurl insults at me when I made mistakes. Even though she has learned from that and is significantly way better, I still carry that mother wound with me and its so suprising how DEEP it is. Like I'm so scared every time she wants to interact with me in any type of way and I don't really trust her with my emotions or feel emotionally secure with her and I always feel uncomfortable when I'm around her. I've noticed, because of that, I don't really trust a lot of people with my feelings/emotions, it takes a lot for me to be vulnerable with others, I still suffer from low confidence sometimes and it took me a LONG time to finally be confident in myself and I'm uncomfortable when I have to interact with other people who are close to my mothers age or I kind of find it strange when people have close (kind of friend) relationships with their mothers. I dont know man, this mother wound thing has just got me so fucked up and even though i'm working on reparenting myself and healing my mother wound, it still suprises me how much I don't trust my mom with my emotions (I'm physically secure with her but not emotionally) and by default I don't trust a lot of people with my emotions.