Entry #1

A few days ago I had to say a final goodbye to 2 friendships all through my 4 years of uni, people that grew extremely close to my heart and used to spend so much of my time with. My best friends.

I've come to notice how my first instinct after things go awry is to flight, running away before the other person leaves me first. When I think about it, this is something I have been repeating all my life in every relationship I get in, I get mentally prepared to run away from people so it doesn't hurt as much when they're no longer here. 

I don't regret leaving those friends behind, as they became a cause of anguish and fed my insecurities in order to protect theirs, not standing a second to think how wrong every of those actions were, never sparing a thought to anyone outside themselves. If I could have done something different it would be stopping them from crossing my limits till it became the norm and left the first instance of disrespect. 

When the years pass and I finally have time to reflect on this decision, I wonder if that version of me would be proud of my stance.

—Tommy