i hate my life

I honestly don't even know how to start this, but my whole life up until now has been a big mess, nothing I liked or wanted stayed, not that I didn't enjoy my adolescence or anything, make the most of it as much as I could, I did everything, but.....I feel so empty, I turned 18, I have no plans for life (I even have them but they are totally irrelevant), I even have friends, but they are much cooler than me, and in a group, I'm I'm always the quietest, but it's not because I want to be quiet, whenever I try to interact in any way I'm ignored or humiliated, my relationships have all been tragic, whenever I've tried, I've been hurt in terrible ways to the point of almost killing myself, and I feel so empty, I don't know, it seems like the only thing I have to offer is my looks and my pretty face, because after a while, everyone excludes me because I got what they wanted, my father hates me, he talked about as I was a mistake and was born unintentionally, my brother always puts my problems last and tries to make me think that my problems are nothing compared to other people's, in my childhood I was always excluded from everything, so much so that at the beginning of my When I went to school I bullied so I wouldn't feel alone, since no one liked having me around, I always felt like rubbish, um, extortionate, and I don't think that will ever change, because nothing has improved.

(sorry for bad english