everywhere and nowhere (small vent)

I honestly have no idea how to feel about anything rn. I feel like my feelings are either out of control and I'm being dramatic and overreacting or I feel nothing and don't care about my life at all. But I do care though. I wish I was somewhat normal and have my anxiety leave me for good but if I were normal, I wouldn't be where I am today. Idk if that's a good or bad thing.