I am in mourning (Good Omens s3) (rambling)

Today we mourn the premature and untimely death of season 3 Good Omens. In its place Amazon will be rolling out a 90 minute movie. Think about it. A 90 minute movie in the place of six episodes, all of them 40-50 minutes long. It breaks the cycle! Three seasons, all with six episodes,  666, you know?! Imagine how much plot has been cut. The jokes, the dialogue, heck we don’t even know if it’s the original script cropped to be 90 minutes long, they could have discreetly hired some new people who wrote this. We no longer have our director. We no longer have our main writer, not that care in any way shape or form about the job stability of Neil may-he-or-in-hell Gaimen. I am broken. I am numb. I feel like I lost a dear friend. I don’t care that something is better than nothing. I don’t care that at least the actors and crew are the same. I don’t know who I am anymore. This show meant so much to me. It made me finally get over my fear of drawing people. It made me pick up cosplay. I attended my first convention last August. I wore my Crowley cosplay.  I think we have officially lost good omens, at least the version of it that was meant to exist. A gnawing feeling in my soul is telling me that we won’t have the happy ending. For some reason I doubt it. I don’t know who or what or how but the idea that our beloved ineffable husbands will get to end the show happily together in a cottage in the south downs seems very unlikely to me. I could be wrong. But for now I don’t think anyone can convince me otherwise.

I have no idea what to do with all my good omens memorabilia. It feels weird to have my room covered in it. A part of me wants to get violent and rip, shatter, and throw out every last bit, but I also can’t push myself to do something like that. A lot of the things have meaning to me. They hold memories. The time my mom got a colored printer and we printed the s2 poster as a test, which is probably illegal but who cares. The time at my first convention when I saw a good omens print while wearing my Crowley cosplay and squealed “that’s me!” To my friend while practically vibrating with joy. The time that I didn’t have enough money to buy a print and the artist just went and offered to give me a ten dollar discount, he just did it.

I don’t know what I’m gonna do. Part of me still wants to believe it’s a weird dream because this is exactly the type of shit I tend to dream about for some reason. I know I’ll be fine. That’s the one thing I know. Hey, maybe things will get better! Maybe I will genuinely like the movie. Maybe it could even get a theatric release do it’s nature as well, a movie? Maybe I’ll just find a different thing to obsess over. I’m really into phantom of the opera and I have a lot of movies and shows on my to watch list. Who knows?

For now, I fully plan on wearing a mourning outfit to work tomorrow (to be fair I’m also emo and the outfit planned is really what I usually wear everyday). I will not be doing a last minute Halloween costume change. Still plan going as an evil version of Crowley (still need to make or get a crown for that). Thank you for reading my rambles. I feel much better now. And have a lovely rest of your day.