Ive been thinking of od-ing

i have a lexapro prescription that doesn’t work. i honestly feel worse. when im off it i also feel so insufferably depressed that i cry nonstop with constant breakdowns and sickness. i like that feeling, in a way it feels freeing. but recently i found out the effects of taking more than ur prescription so i think im gonna try 30-40mg before i fully overdose. i wanna die but i wanna know first. also please dont try and inform people i know about this, you dont know me and if we are friends just message me if u really r worried.