You proposed to me right in front of everyone? Hurt People

I waited until Jackson invited us to a birthday get-together to introduce you to each other properly. It went well, I thought, but afterwards you said that I was never “this happy” around just you anymore. I told you that your need for reassurance was becoming too much, but I could have said it nicer. You said that I didn’t care anymore, but I think I did.
You were trying to be supportive by coming to my rehearsals, but you always talked about how stressful your day was, and it was hard to stay focused with that on my mind. It was starting to feel intrusive, and maybe you were making sure I was where I said I was. I told you I can’t drop everything just because you were having a bad day. I felt so mean. You looked so vulnerable, so I told you that I was sure things would work out.
You took me out to try to repair things and said, “I called off work to be here with you. You Know I’d do anything for you, right? I mean, I’m really trying.” You said you were scared about the future, and I asked what you were going to do about it. I said you only think about yourself and asked why you always needed someone else to tell you that you’re enough. I just kept waiting for you to get angry and push back, but you aren’t my father, and that made me feel like maybe I was.

At the museum’s grand opening, you were invited to give a speech, and your dad had reporters and photographers there. He was drinking and laughing, and I knew it was a big day, so I wasn’t surprised by your nervous energy. I was blindsided by your proposal in front of everyone. Cameras started flashing and I forced a smile and said yes. I didn’t want to humiliate you publicly, and I didn’t say no, but you still put me in a corner.