My Last Halloween and Hurt People 2

Things got so weird in middle school. I thought I was friends with everyone in elementary school. Sure, there were kids I didn’t like, or who were rude, but for the most part, it seemed like everyone got along. I guess we weren’t really friends, but it felt like at least we could be friends, if we wanted to be. But I remember that first year of middle school, I felt like everyone just changed overnight. Todd couldn’t be friends with Benny anymore because Benny’s hair was too long and his clothes were too baggy, and I got weird looks from other girls when I talked to Valerie whose hair was too short and glasses too thick. She was new to town and no one talked to her. I talked to lots of people, but I never really had a best friend, I guess. But at lunch time, Valerie was always alone reading, and I felt like I could talk to her. She tried to brush me off at first for interrupting her book, but I got the impression that she was just prickly as a defense, like a hedgehog. I knew we probably had stuff in common, and I wanted her to know I wouldn’t judge her for the things she enjoyed. I could see the name “Carolyn Keene” on the book cover so one day I said, “So, do you like Nancy Drew?” She just sort of shrugged and acted unamused. I remember she said, “It’s all right,” so I said, “Really? I love those books,” all excitedly, but really, I only liked them. They weren’t incredible stories, but I wanted her to feel comfortable around me. Over the lunch break, Valerie started gushing to me about her favorite Nancy Drew stories. We had what I thought was a good conversation, although there were times where I only vaguely remembered the characters she was talking about. I did that a lot, when I think about it. I tried to make friends with people who didn’t have any, but it never lasted for some reason. But I would still get weird looks from the other girls when I talked with Valerie. I tried not to act like it bothered me, but it did. I wonder if Valerie picked up on that?
On Halloween, I tried to get us all together. It was me, Todd, Benny, and Valerie. By that time, I’d heard a rumor that Todd had a crush on me, and I liked Todd, too, but I was afraid that if we got any closer, he would stop, and I liked Todd liking me. I didn’t really have a plan, but I was just trying to let that crush last as long as I could. Todd wasn’t hanging out with Benny anymore, but he’d have to if he wanted to spend Halloween with me, and I wanted to get us all together for some reason. Valerie was dressed as Doctor Who with a long multi-colored scarf, Benny was a slice of pizza, Todd was a werewolf, and I was dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Todd asked me where my ruby slippers were, and Valerie pointed out that they were silver in the book, but I wasn’t wearing silver slippers, either. I think the costume did come with them, but they were uncomfortable, and I guess I just didn’t think they were that important to the costume. Well, things were going well, I thought, but for some reason, we split up into groups of two. I think there were so many kids trick-or-treating that we were separated by crowds of kids as we went door to door. I was with Todd who wanted to get as much candy as possible. Val was with Benny, but they were friends by now, so I thought she’d be okay. Eventually, Todd met some of his buddies, and they wanted to start egging houses. I knew he had never done that before, but he wanted to look cool. Or maybe he just thought it was fun and wanted to. It made me uncomfortable, and I just kept thinking about how hard it was going to be for some of my neighbors. Marie’s husband Ted was old, but he was a proud, hard-working guy. I just kept picturing him having to climb that ladder to scrub dried egg off the sides of his house. And I kept picturing Marie telling him to get down before he hurts himself. I left to find Val and Benny, but when I did, they were talking about me. Valerie said that it was “good that we all split up,” because I guess she didn’t really like bigger groups or something. But then I heard Benny say, “yeah, especially that Audrey chick. That girl’s a bitch.” I don’t get it. I knew he didn’t really like Todd, but what did I do? I was the one who introduced him to Val in the first place. I walked back on my own because I didn’t want to Trick-or-Treat alone. I sat down and I cried and wanted to die.
I had told Valerie that I overheard that conversation the next week at school, and she just told me she didn’t know why he didn’t like me. I guess she probably felt awkward about the whole thing. It’s not like I expected her to choose me over him or anything, I wouldn’t put her in that position, I guess I just wanted her to understand how I felt. I stopped going out of my way to spend time with him after that. 
It didn’t really matter anyway, because by the next year Val was totally over Trick-or Treating, Todd was at a party, and Benny was smoking weed with a whole new crowd. Mom offered to take me trick-or-treating with her, and I guess she could tell I was upset because she really pushed me to go with her, so I did. I went in the same outfit as last year, but I guess it didn’t fit the same. At the first house, a woman answered the door, so I said, “Trick-or-Treat,” with a forced smile. The woman looked down at my chest and asked, “aren’t you a little old to be trick-or-treating, slutty Dorothy?” After that, I just told my mom, “I don’t want to do this,” and we went home and ordered a pizza and watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s, instead.