Rationalizing Not Trying

I had a couple conversations recently that kind of upset me in terms of criticism of how I'm presenting. Formerly, I had a really ugly experience with a partner hyper-criticizing my presentation after our break-up. For context, I am an mtf trans person usually wearing neutral (?) clothes most if not all the time. ie. jeans, a band t-shirt and usually a sweater over the top. I don't feel any resentment towards the way I dress, but today I had to have a big think about how I was presenting myself.

The big thing I found I was doing (after contemplating what I said earlier today for hours now) was rationalizing inactivity. "It's just the way I dress" and "Do I really need to dress a certain way to be perceived a certain way". I feel, in a perfect world, I wouldn't have to conform to the second point, but our world isn't perfect. I feel I'm getting mad at something I could easily change. Now, don't get anything mixed up, I'm not convinced I pass fully (maybe half the time if I'm generous), and this is where these conversations stem from. I can actively quell some of the misgendering and other slights by utilizing the way people perceive to my power. I think, since I'm presenting in an androgynous manner, people instantly assume "man". Maybe dressing in a more gendered way would help sway the assumptions the other way (even if im clocky as fuck or whatever). I'm not saying this is 100% fool proff because there'll always be transphobic asshoels in the world and thats whatever. But if I can sway things to a majority I think I'd feel better?

This is turning into a really weird line of reasoning, but stick with me. I want to dress femme and all the things associated with that. I am not saying I'm doing this out of survival or anything else (although some do). I feel I need to make these grand rationalizations to finally move toward what I want! Like, I have pinterest boards and mood boards and carts full of things I desire to wear. I think I just need to woman up and finally just go for it? Like what's stopping me, a couple of stares? Fuck them, I should be moving towards my goals not stagnating because I'm afraid that my body isn't where I want it to be. I feel like I'm blind toward my own progress in that department and maybe this is the way to kick everything back into place. 

I feel alot better putting this into physical (digital?) words in a space so I can feel confident that my train of thought is kind-of going somewhere. I have to keep progressing to my ideal self image or I'll probably die. 

(sorry for all the spelling mistakes and stuff this is a major thought dump :3)