i dont even like him anymore

When I don’t even like him anymore,  he never showed interest in me actually, he knew I liked him.   It literally never meant anything and wasn’t a big deal but part of me craves for him to not be happy,  it’s so incredibly toxic.   I saw him hold hands with a girl and I wanted to rip her hair out Infront of him my heart stopped beating and that shit sucked ass like I don’t even like you anymore but I pray for your downfall like how did you not like me I was just your type?  Me and you would’ve been perfect together and I say this while I still don’t have feelings anymore,  that passed a long time ago.  How did your bitch ass not even notice that I was perfect for you,  I wore your favorite color almost everyday I’m starting to think you hated blue considering you never looked at me for a moment to acknowledge it,  did you hate the color blue or did you just hate it on me.    When you said blue was your favorite color did you mean it’s your favorite color when it’s not on a girl who is perfect for you?  Or maybe it’s only your favorite color when it doesn’t match a good pair of heels and a cute blue bow in my hair?   I drew a photo of you and gave it to you and you said you hung it up,   did the amount of blue coloring I put into your shirt not catch your attention???    I never admitted I liked you but you knew, I know you knew.    Like I don’t like you anymore but why tf it bother me?  I wouldn’t ever see myself dating you now,  not after I moved on from nothing.  It wasn’t even a big thing,  like it wasn’t some big event or some big think of talking.  It was bland back and forth and nothing ever happened so why does it fucking bother me?   Why do you bother
me even though we don’t even interact??  When I realized you knew I liked you my heart wanted to explode you’re not even someone I knew for a long time,  it’s not like it was a heart break,  you were just a boy yet my my heart wanted to burst and bleed all across your freckled face and curled hair,  maybe my red blood would look almost as good as I thought the color blue would look on my body.     Why do I hate you,  why do I actually feel so upset.   Like I don’t want you anymore, yet it fucking bothers me.   I was perfect for you,  you’re so dumb.    Now I found me a boy who likes blue on me instead and loves me.