"happy" belated monday (fuck this stupid planet)

hi guys xd yesterday was so shitty. i cried for four hours (9 PM sunday- 2 AM monday) n barely slept. n i had to wake up for school so i only got 2 hours of sleep after my crying session T_T i finally left for school on time for the first time in a week, but i was TWENTY fucking minutes late because of some random ass construction on the freeway i take. i made it on time for attendance, but ik my stats professor is a bit mad at me. but im mad at him too bc he announced our midterm and a quiz very fucking late. i have a quiz tomorrow about three chapters, but my class wasnt told until yesterday. so all of us are emailing our professor saying that him announcing a big quiz on such a late notice is bullshit. this isnt the first time he's fucking announced the incorrect date for a quiz/exam either. PLUS this random wednesday quiz isnt on the fucking syllabus, and i hate how my professor doesnt hold himself accountable. he says "the syllabus is subject to change," but he hasnt been on track since this semester started. jfc. im lucky i understand what my professor is teaching, but im sick of how unpredictable he is.


then i went to my second class of the day. my beloved swim class. i had to sit out bc of a personal issue, so i stared at a bee flying around for an hour and 30 minutes. ngl it was entertaining. i was texting my friends too, so it wasnt too bad. i got to yap to someone about one of my OCs!!her name is nyeo, and i post my art on my bluesky account! it's linked in my profile, but i'll link it here (yes, my ussername is just 10099). but the fun was over when i realized someone stole my fucking jacket. i was so mad. i accidentally left it hanging in a stall, and when i went to check, it wasnt there. i checked the lost and found, and it also wasnt there. im so pissed bc i had it for 3 years and it was one of my favorite colors. i know i can buy a new one, but i hope god punishes whoever stole my jacket.

i hung out in a little center after my second class instead of going home. i met a trans girl in there and even though i didnt come out to her (since im not out irl), it was just nice to know that there are fellow trans teens on my campus :"3 i got her instagram n stuff

but the fun got shat on again bc i when i was driving home, some guy was honking at me n told me to roll down my window. he said my tail lights were out, so i exited the freeway and checked my lights in a mcdonald's parking lot. im 100% sure that guy was trying to get me to pull over on the shoulder so he could do some criminal shit to me.. like kidnapping or attacking me. or even stealing my car. fucking weirdo

when i came home, i got to relax and tell my parents what happened to me (my unorganized professor, the jacket thief, and the weird dude on the fucking freeway), n they listened to me and told me that i only have 1 more year in community till i transfer to uni, and then i will never get into messes like these ever again. i also came home to my friend drawing fanart of my OC!! i was so happy aaaaaa :"3then i did some homework and went to sleep. i didnt cry today, but man.. i was ranting to my friends about how ratemyprofessor lied to me about the quality of my instructors. i think everyone i have sucks (but lowkey im a bit of a rowdy person anyway... i havent gotten along with "higher-ups" since i was 15). it's really hard for me to be the best version of myself when im irritated by everything ;_-

now to backtrack: i was crying for 4 hours bc i was so stressed about school and all of my relationships (friendships, family, and my romantic relationship). it's been itching at me for a month and getting called the t slur last wednesday really pushed me over. i have such a hard time with being accepted and i dont know why! i feel like i dont fit in anywhere no matter how hard i try to blend in. so im always worried that my friends, family, and partner will eventually exclude me since i feel like they secretly dont want me here...

anyway that was how my week started! cheers to week 9 of college... im so tireddd.. but im more than halfway there now. only 7 more weeks!! and then im freeeeeeeee