I genuinely hate my mom sometimes

It's so weird because one moment I love everything about her, like that's my mom of course I'm going to love her. And I don't think she's a horrible person, I'd kill myself if she ever abandoned me or if something ever happens to her. 

But then she'll say or do something I just feel so much HATE, like the same if not more hate than I feel about my abuser. And over the simplest of things sometimes, she'll say or do something and I'll just think "I get why dad beat you. You deserved it" then once the feeling has passed I go back to clinging to her like my life depends on it. 

Like right now I fucking hate her, I was trying to share an interest of mine with her and she said "Why are you yapping when you could be doing (x) chore?" and its like "FINE FUCK YOU TOO YOU FAT NO HAVING ASS CUNT, I SHOULD BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOU." and I'll get like serious murderous thoughts about her and all I can think about is how shes a stupid cunt and how I can't wait to leave this place. 

Is this normal?? Like I don't want to share all my thoughts on here because I don't want to seem crazy but like I fucking HATE her. Especially when she does shit like that when I'm just trying to bound with her. And this isn't just a once in awhile occurrence it's everyday I flipflop through these emotions with her, I normally just avoid her for the rest of the day or give her a little attitude, but FUCK I wish I could just curse her out and smack the hell out of her without having to worry if she's gonna fuck me over.