THE EMPTINESS

I have a massive hole in my heart and I'm not sure what's meant to go there. There hasn't been anything in that space since the beginning of the whole fictionkin thing I have going on, when I was 11 and first started feeling The Vibes (hard to explain) and mistook them for what I now know are called "kin memories," among various other things I refuse to talk about openly --- though if you'd have told any of that to me then I would have laughed at you. The feeling disappeared one day and I'm still looking for it; I don't think I'll ever get it back, though, because now I know shame, and all the other circumstances are long gone, too. Everything is ephemeral, it all fades eventually --- everything you are fades. Don't make your soul out of fan content

'Course, it's not all bad. I plan on using that hole in my heart as inspiration for a text-based adventure game I may or may not make simply because I think it would be really cool to do that with a previously lost 1980s programming language (link is broken as of Oct. 21st, 2024 cuz the internet archive was hacked, come back later. No I don't find it stalker-y and weird I WANT people to read my blog that's what it's there for). Gonna be getting earnest up in the emulator. This is what art is about --- taking your Freak Emptiness and making something no one will ever care about with it