tired

i went through this situation the other day where a person i was getting involved with decided to ask me through text if i would still like to go out with them as friends. when i asked why, they told me they have feelings for someone else, which is someone i had no idea about. i didnt ask for more information, at this point it is none of my business, but it got me in a way that i cant believe.

its this temporarity of things, a polarity; i have everything i want, then suddenly nothing at all.
why this? how can someone feel so comfortable as to not put all the cards in the table? the information out in the open? all this burden couldve been avoided by a brief mention of a name, or by not telling me sweet words that now i notice were all empty.

of course, although it is none of my business, i went in a quest to answer my inner questions.
why? how? who?
and why is it that when we have past connections that still reach our hearts, we become so insensitive to the hearts of others?

i have them marked on my skin in a literal sense, we spoke about so many things, why omit something so crucial? how can you allow a connection to flourish? 
oh, and again, the sweet, sweet words
sweet caresses
i might be lovesick but i know what casualty looks like and the whole thing couldnt even resemble it

exhaustion has gotten to me, i have tried to understand the logic behind people's actions, but maybe there isnt.

i pray to be tougher, wiser, to catch on things
im tried of being played around like this
its not their fault, but i cant stand that it might be mine.