i think i'm aroace

my relationship with my sexuality has been really really rocky for a long time. i can even remember the different sexualities i THOUGHT i was before i finally came to terms with what i actually am. lol here is a funny little list in order of what i thought i was:

- straight (what are gay people?)

- straight (oh cool nothing wrong with that)

- bisexual (wait, does that mean i COULD like girls too?)

- pansexual (well, i feel the same way abt everyone and don't have any preferences, so ig im pan?)

- aromantic (i haven't had any real crushes yet and idrk)

- straight (wait, this guy is nice to me and wants to date me. ig i could date him)

- pansexual (wait no i still have no preferences)

- panromantic (when doing sexual stuff with the guy im dating, i don't really feel anything. is that normal?)

- asexual (maybe i just like the thought of sexual intimacy, but don't actually like doing it? that sounds right)

- aroace (it's been 2 years after i broke up with my first boyfriend. looking back, i didn't really like him romantically and i js went along with him since he was older and i thought he knew what he was doing)

- sapphic (my best friend just confessed her feelings for me, and the thought of being with her seems nice?)

- aroace (no. im only thinking like that because she likes ME. it doesn't mean i HAVE to like her back like on the shows on TV. my life isn't a love story)


ANYWAYYYYYY this is mostly a vent ig? for some reason, im so much more scared to tell my parents im aroace than when i told my mum i thought i was bisexual. it's like i've been pressured to think i NEED a partner to live a happy life, but tbh, i'd be happier by myself, maybe platonically marrying my best friend and adopting a pet together

if u read allat, tysm and have a lovely rest of ur day <3
(MAKE SURE TO DRINK WATER)