when bro wont stop yapping abt their partner

i finally found smth new to whine about yuppie yuppieeeee

anyways im sort of vagueposting, actually, because i really need somewhere to let this all out, none of my friends really have spacehey either so? i think im safe? idk if they find this hi please understand

a few things to know before you read this:

1. im aroace. i've never really known what's it's been like to actually love someone romantically or be in a relationship. idk but i just don't find anyone attractive, and on the rare occasion in which i do, its usually very minimal and attraction lasts under 2 weeks

2. i get annoyed pretty easily. while said annoyance can be resolved with an energy drink and some raising canes, sometimes it's not that simple. i bottle up my annoyance until its too much and it spills out, so hi im experimenting with expressing my emotions

anyways, lets get to the main point:

friendships are actually nonexistent now. it's either romance or total strangers and actually, im tired of it, and when i do have a friend, they always end up yapping to me about their partner. and its usually someone idgaf about, who i don't know, and i always end up third wheeling because. well. i can't really be a total jackass

"i miss s/o!"

ok go talk to them. its even worse when their s/o is LITERALLY in the same place as them.

"LMFAOOO did u see what s/o said?"

why dont you Suck/On my dick /lh

it just really hurts because i feel like if i just randomly disappeared, they would not care because, well, they have their s/o!! they'd be better off without me actually. its really as if im not good enough, like im just there to talk to when s/o isnt around.

now, i semi-understand why they do this (i think). "so why are you complaining?" because no matter how much or how little i understand, it still is affecting my emotions

i get what it's like to be excited. i get what its like to talk about something a lot, because you love it, because you admire it. but cmon. we get it. you have an s/o. 

and dont even get me fucking started when people make their s/o their entire personality

like imagine these mfs breaking up. then what?

so much else to mention but the "else" is targeted.

here is where i vent, you can click off now if you dont want to read.

i cant talk to my friends about this. i really cant. they'll all just put me down and disregard my emotions i think, but without them, im nothing. ill be lonely over something as stupid as this and i dont want that but i dont want them to mold into something i want. no. asking for them to stop talking about their partners so much is a boundary i really cant set up. i sound so fucking entitled if i ever dare try and tell them to stop talking about s/o

without them i am nothing, im so afraid to loose them. scared. ive already done too much, they'll be quick to talk shit about me. i also cant say anything because ill feel like such an attention seeker. im so tired of this, why cant i just be normal 

anyways goodnight fazgang. i lobve u all!