Life in Mid-October

Life has been soo odd as of lately. 

I usually take October *very* seriously and I try to make the most of it, its halloween month afterall! The only time I rlly feel normal I guess. But the huge change this year is so weird, college is so weird. I feel so lonely and alienated from my friends back home, and i miss my family. I need to go to the cemetery and smoke a cigarette and read and think about how much I miss being home and how much I love the winter because its cold and gloomy but hate it because it makes my mental illness act up. 

I'm trying to have a great time anyway, I know life is gonna get better. It snowed for the first time in my town and It was FREEZINGGG I don't know if I'm gonnna be able to survive this winter, ( i will i just need to buy layering stuff  (-_- )... ) 

I went to the Homecoming Carnival my uni hosted, and it was okay. Seemed fun but I wasn't feeling up to it, I'm not sure why people always leave me alone, am I that offputting to be around when my sister isn't with me? And am I stupid or childish for feeling upset over it? 

I went to a local show last night, and I'm going to my local theatre's Rocky Horror show so I'm pretty excited!! I've never seen it, but I've heard so many great things. Hoping to see my friends next week, hopefully grab a bite and maybe carve pumpkins or go to a haunted house :0 !! I also really miss my other friend and I hope I can have a movie night with her or Buffy watch party (we haven't had one of those in ages!!). 

I haven't had as many pumpkin/fall drinks as I'd like, and we're halfway through October! Just finished this key concept review though, so maybe I'll head downtown and grab a coffee (and maybe a little pastry...) Been listening to music and scrolling social media all morning and got some assignments finished (AND MY CALCULUS HOMEWORK WAS DONE LAST NITE AFTER THE SHOW LETS GO)

I'm just hoping I have a good Halloween and make new friends here so I don't feel so alone anymore. I like hanging out with my sister but I also need some separation from my family lol

Heres a couple songs I've been listening to as of late though :3 

- Sister Europe, The Psychedelic furs 

- Populace in Two, From First to Last

- Ride the Wings of Pestilence - From First to Last

- Should Have Known Better - Sufjan Stevens 

- Never Let Me Down Again - Depeche Mode