˗ˏˋ ₊‧꒰აThe feeling of letting everyone down...? ໒꒱ ‧₊ ˎˊ˗

⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖⊹ ࣪ ﹏⊹

I feel alone, Trapped and i don't know why...I always manage to pull men's attention to me even when i dont crave or want it...I have a boyfriend he love's me...But why is it that even though i tell these new people i meet i have a boyfriend they dont care...? They pressure me into talking to them...Or sending things that are not well- "friendly" It's so hard to be a girl...Why can't they get that? They want me to seek there love and care...

╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ ╴╴╴╴˚ೃ ╴╴╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ ╴╴╴╴˚ೃ ╴╴╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴

Feeling the heat in your face when you said something wrong...Or that feeling when you know everyone hates you? yeah well that's me! Everyone in my school either hates me because im black or dont agree with there outrageous opinions , the only places i can find comfort and friends is Online...LIke discord Spacehey Tumblr...But i see...It makes me vulnerable to older men and creeps...When your vulnerable you crave love and attention...That's what i crave...But i know deep down im letting everyone down..You can't like older men so why do i? Daddy issues...Simple...Everyone always says "Get a boyfriend who is older never younger, I'll only go one year younger, Get a girlfriend that's young" Its so normal...But when i actually get an older person in my DM's i feel disgusted with myself...And alone...I can't tell my boyfriend that creeps are trying to grape me or find my address i will worry him...He has so much going on that i just am so afraid he is gonna be thinking of me all day and not his work and his homework...Im so scared that one day these men might manipulate me into sending nudes or F*king them...Or even them coming to see me...Its happened so many times and thats why i have not dated in 3 years...And Niko is my first in such a long time...Im so worried that i will fuck it all up and he will hate me...But my family does not trust online people...Thats why i keep it a secret and i uninstalled snapchat because i was almost kidnapped graped and abused IRL if i did not block the man as soon as i did....I was 11-12 when this happened...And now im 14, I wonder if im the fucked up person or is it them...? I feel like im letting everyone down...

Does anyone relate or am i just crazy...?

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵