is my mom strict or am I overreacting??

there’s mentions of sh in here just a little warning

so like ive always have had a problem with my mom and stuff, she keeps telling me she will put me in therapy soon (which she has said for three years straight), and whenever my friends come over, i cant have my door closed, I cant go anywhere with them unless its planned before time (like we cant even just go outside with her being there), snd my mom checks everything on my phone snd devices, like my messages, games, photos, my private notes without caring and gets mad when she sees something private

honestly ive been struggling with self harm and alot lately, and im still not in therapy. she keeps giving me these books about “social anxiety” or “how to deal with anxiety” which I DONT need. anytime my mom tries to get me to open up i just get mad because its been like these for YEARS and any time I try to tell her she gets mad or doesnt listen and just continues going on tiktok and vaping.

one time she found my vent stuff and was yelling at me to tell her sbout it (it was about how i felt no one loved me and how my siblings kept saying I was fat and needed to eat less.) and I didnt tell her and she kept mentioning she wished I would hang out with her more or give her hugs (im not a fan of hugs alot unless its certain people) and I dont tell her this stuff because most of the time my vents are about HER. i know I can be bratty or overthinking some stuff but honestly i dont really know one time I told her about how I hated when my stepdad yelled all the time and she just said “noise echos through the house, get over it” and just left my room while I was crying so thats fun ig 

what do yall think