mizu5 thoughts (+ extra)

thought i could make blog posts about my brain dumping about thoughts i have about media in discord and organize my thoughts and also archive my rambles so..... this might be a mess


watched a mizu5 analysis and having their fear to not be coming out but for people to accept them out of the kindness of their own heart OWCHIEEEEEEEEEE YOU GOT ME

like i just think in my head no one really sees me as a guy or takes me seriously because i dont try to present as one or correct others when they use thr wrong pronouns but if its a friend it hurts so much... whenever i use game vc its always "she" and sometimes my friend will say she on accident and i feel like its dishonest. they try to correct people and be like nuh uh not a girl but ignores transphobic comments made and how im uncomfortable...... i dunno i think being able to hide behind text is nice but then once i show my face or me in cosplay i just think everyone pictures me as a girl because im so feminine truly the only person who i believe sees me as my true self is my best friend because she never hesitates to call me he or they when talking with family and it makes me so happy. i cant really trust my friends to truly be my friend its so sad i love my friends but i just think they all pity me or tolerate me. truly mizu5 and mizuki in general is the most connected ive felt to a trans character because of the fear of acceptance not for who you are but because of pity and kindness

got off topic with friends replying but i wanted to add it

i like deep diving into how my brain works and how i process things i think its where my best writing and thoughts come from i turn into some writing genius 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️💨💨💨💨💨 very fun many people have told me they aspire to be as open as i am online but i really dont think about it very hard i just say whats on my mind, i dont dwell about death or anything im always thinking about it

(witchs heart spoilers ahead)
i miss lime witchs heart sigh best character ever i love their aesthetic so much so mad it took me forever to get to the scenario theyre featured in that explores their lore i would replay it but rhat boss fight KICKED MY ASS!!!!!!!

i love it so much because their lore is kinda like the salem witch trails where she was burned alive when she was human which made her resent humans so much she became a demon but she acts like it never happened and skips around playing games and eating sweets. i like how every demon you get to see the effects of how they died like charlotte killed her dad with scissors so she carries bloody scissors and when u fight lime she uses fire and burns in the end i think (?) memories fuzzy. but zizel and rouge are pure bred demons they were just born demons so they dont have as much backstory as they do