lucky is she, who lives unaware

I hate it so much.. When i walk into school and I see that group of girls laughing and talking with eachother, unaware.. and..

happy.

I want that too, you know? It really isn't fair. I want to be a stupid girl laughing with her stupid group of girls, unaware of the absolute hell we call life. It pains me that i won't ever be that dumb, i won't ever be that unaware. 

The luckiest people are those who are optimistic, persevering through life's challenges with a big smile on their face. I could never be them. I'm always gloomy, thinking about how horrible my life is.. Sometimes i think i wont ever be happy, ever. 

It'll get better when i'm 18, right?

right?