The Beauty

People often talk about young girls not finding themselves beautiful, as if this is just a teenage struggle exclusive to them. But that’s not the case. In fact, it worsens over time, and you start to feel like it’s forbidden to feel this way. I’m in my early twenties, and I already feel like it’s wrong to feel this way. Friends who are a year or two older than me have started getting married and diving into careers. Everything seems fine in their lives, and they look like they’ve moved on. But I feel left behind because of this obsession with my body and beauty.

I look at my dad and think about my future, and I cry for both him and myself. He’s in his early fifties and doesn’t even turn on the front camera on his phone. He never looks in the mirror for long. He’s had several cosmetic surgeries, liposuction, and laser treatments, but he still says, "I don’t like looking after myself; what I see makes me nauseous." These feelings don’t just go away with age.

I still don’t know how to cope with it. But I lean towards accepting it as it is. I should accept that my face looks like this and that it will naturally change over the years; the only thing that won’t change is my eyes. Maybe instead of staring deeply into the mirror, I should just focus on my eyes, haha. Honestly, if I find a way to cope, I’ll share it.