life part two

i cant say im better *now*, however things in general been better somehow, i still suck ass in class, and in relationships, but at least!!!!! i got back to a good therapy, now im in dbt therapy and i havent been there a lot but is pretty useful. still, it feels a little bad, to finally "get better", if i get better none of this mattered? i mean, it looks like a waste and maybe thats good but the mess in my life is still mine and i kinda already accepted it, i cant lie and say that i dont prefer to never get out, things are changing and even if the rest says i am too im the same person, even if im changing its still me and my experiences and i feel bad. i cant stop this change, they will get mad at me and see me as useless, they will tell me "i thought we were getting better" if i fall a little again, im troubled... sorry, it just hard stuff but well who reaf this stuff and can anyone do anything about this? is like im crying for getting better, i am, so i shouldnt get help on this i guess

well more for the psychologist! part 2 being a little more deep...woah...so deep.

also i said new good therapist bc last one told my parents everything and it got pretty ugly and i almost got hospitalized... uhh whatever