Oct/15/2024 Haruhi Touches Grass

So today, I, the great and fabulous Haruhi, went to the park! As I usually do on nice October afternoons in order to beat the not touching grass allegations. I was listening to Utsu-P's Corpse Attack as per usual, in my uniform and all, when I was suddenly approached from behind by a group of SMELLY and RANCID locals. As this is my first entry, allow me to elaborate.

I, the great Haruhi, have a great many horrible experiences with the local plebs of this small little town in the Midwest. Not one fellow Soul Eater enthusiast under the age of 30 in sight! Aside from yours truly of course. These disgusting shit soaked crumpets often mock me for my superior fashion sense and advanced intellect. They fear my ability to cuss them out in a foreign language their feeble minds cannot comprehend given they can hardly speak their own language, much like medieval peasants.

So as you can imagine, as I was approached by a hoard of these presumably upperclassmen, I was absolutely DISGUSTED. One of them waved their chin towards the air, a gesture I do not understand. Is it a way of signalling dominance he only craves of having? Or is it a challenge? Either way, I proceeded to turn my music up and walk away to convey I had ZERO interest in these disgusting smelly imbeciles.

But as I proceeded to make my way to the exit of the park, I turned back to look at the lovely autumn trees. But I was instead met with the hideous sight of the same eye sores from earlier FOLLOWING ME! Well, I thought to myself, the school is right next to the park and it was about time school was let out. (I, the glorious Haruhi, am too good for public school. So I am homeschooled so I do not have to mingle with the local plebs.) So I decided to offer them the gracious assumption they were simply enjoying a walk after school.

However, as I proceeded to turn on my fabulously heeled combat boots, bedazzled with chunky beads, I heard a hideous noise. The snickering of the insolent fools. I decided to simply ignore them, as any good citizen ought, I am above them. But even as I made my way a few blocks down the street, I could still smell their stench in the air. Once again turning around, I had found they were indeed following me! Horrendous. 

There was only one thing I, the great and powerful Haruhi, could do. So I approached the most likely uneducated morons, taking off my extra belt that was weighed down by a padlock, and asserted my dominance over this domain. The cowards did not understand my threat, only looking at me like befuddled swine. These people couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. So I spelled it out for them, swinging the belt back and forth. They turned away and left with disgruntled looks on their hideous faces. I had won.

I conquered the plebs yet again, leaving home with triumph. Tomorrow, I shall return to the park. However, at an earlier time so I do not have to use the belt again.