a letter i will never send (to him.)

I like you so much it hurts. I know you don't like me back and I know you never will. I'm tired of waiting for something that will never happen. it's not your fault, but I'm sorry for seeing something that wasn't there. If you like someone else, tell me. if you don't like me, tell me. don't lead me on, hoping that one day you'll bother to text me. the only time you text first is when you said to never talk to you again. if that's what you want, I should of listened. but for once you showed your true colors and I was colorblind. I painted your red flags green all along, I would get excited when you texted back and it would be the driest message I've ever seen. I know your not dry, I know with people you do care about your actually really nice and sweet. but you don't care about me, maybe you care enough to 'not hurt my feelings' but by not telling me the truth you hurt them even more. you watch me cripple into a slow painful death. you waste my time by waiting. just hoping that something will change your mind. I know it won't. don't fool me. and maybe I should wait, until your birthday so I could tell you happy birthday, give you the gifts I got and made you. but I know you wouldn't do the same for me. it's so pointless. you make me feel so much more lonely. and the most surprising thing is that you were the one who made me feel like I had someone, someone who cared and was interested in what I had to say. why is that always ruined. you were the only one to make me feel included. and now, the tables turned. 

✜»✜«✜»✜«✜»✜«✜»✜

★