star-crossed fantasies / cursed visons , poetry

he kissed me in my dreams, he kissed me in my sleep and he told me he was with someone else - it was all a dream. it was all a nightmare, it was far too close to reality. I hugged him, I told him I was happy for him. I feel like my love for him is suffocating me. I feel like it's choking me, if I stay I know the deeper the cut but if I go I'll never be able to forgive myself. something tells me to hold on, I can't leave him. I'm handcuffed and tied up, I have no control. no control over my own thoughts or desires, he makes me insane. I destroy myself for him, I take peices of myself apart to put him back together. he shatters my heart into a million peices when he doesn't talk to me, but he hurts it even more when he does. I know it's not right. I still get electric shocks when I see him. when I least expect it. I can't help but love him anyway, the more he drives me crazy the more I become attached. it's something that constantly lingers on my mind, him over anything else. the things I should prioritize I don't because of how he makes me feel, a consuming sadness or a consuming happiness that leaves me scarred. he knows how I feel, but he doesn't really know. he doesn't know much at all, but he still leaves me dry. when I see him I get such a high, but it will only dig me further into my grave. 

꧁♡꧂

ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̽‿̩͙‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̽‿̩͙‿̩͙‿̩̩̽‿̩͙‿̩͙‿̩̩̽‿̩͙‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̽‿̩͙‘⸊ˎ

- timber