A fake ass poem

Im not trying to be poetic or some shit. But my dream is to the just in my room. All dark. There are no light bulbs to light the room. Just lavender candles while playing a game and listening to some music. 

It's better than figuring out what the hell is wrong with you. Or wondering why you've been failing to do normal being things ever since you were eight. I don't have the privilege of doing that anymore. I more of just, do something fun to distract my impending doom. 

I know I'm not being a dumbass on purpose, but i don't really know what to do with myself anymore. So I wanna be in my room until I'm tired of it. With the smell of lavender. And my switch. And some cd player while mitski is playing. It's pathetic, but, what can I do?