Boys idk i needa rant

I havent wrote in like.. forever but ok.

So, there's this boy who i'll call L because he's really sucha L (not a Death Note reference).

Honestly I have a thing for almost anyone. But specifically nerds and geeks who clearly never felt the touch of another woman. I mean I think everyone is a loser in their own different ways, but I'm the kind of loser that never even held hands with a boy romantically. Girls are a different story, I've been with one girl but that's something ian gonna put on the internet. 

Of course, I still have friends and IG if u saw me IRL, you'd most likely think I'd be the kind to bully other people. Maybe it's my makeup? idk.

But back to the topic, when I started to go to real school, I think I adjusted well. In my science and English class, I met L. He uhh I think he has problems dawg. At first, we'd argue and insult each other but only for hee hee hah hah's. We would get in trouble for it to the point our science teacher had to seperate us. But I think I started to catch feelings? Idk. See, I usually think I like a person but I really just like the idea of getting with them. Probably because I'm growing up or something idk. 

But anyways, I started to like him a little. At first I didn't really tell anyone bc I wanted to be mysterious and nonchalant, but I told my friend Jamie and she told me that she use to like him too? It was awkward but I paid it no mind. A few weeks later I told my other friends and they agreed to tell him that I liked him.

L was catching up on some work in a different classroom since he was out of school for a little, so it was a little hard to talk to him since this one raggedy ass teacher would get mad at anyone who tried to talk to him. I had club so I waited outside and only had a little till it started. Well Jamie came out the testing room and told me that L said he doesn't know if he liked me back. I was like, "wdym he doesnt know?" and she shrugs. She then continued, "He says he doesnt even know why you like him because he's a skinny white boy". I was lowkey appalled. Like what does ur race have to do wit anything? But anyways, I walked into the testing room after my club started with the excuse that I had to go to the bathroom and spoke to L. I asked him what does he mean he didnt know and he said that he just didnt know. I was annoyed when he described himself again as a skinny smart arrogant white boy, and im a little bold so I just said "I hope you know thats literally my type." He was just confused and said thats the first time anyone said that (Like no shit).

He was probably insecure or something so maybe that's why he was confused? I mean IRL im not that attractive but okay. Anyways, before we could even continue on, that same raggedy ass teacher appeared behind me and started to chew both of us up for talking. I wasted no time and RAN off, so I couldnt get his answer in time.

The thing is with my school is that we're virtual on tuesdays and thursdays while we're face to face on wednesdays and fridays. I had to wait a whole day to L's answer, so he had all the time to think about whether he liked me back or not.

Well Friday rolls around and when English starts, I ran up to L as he was working with his group of friends and told him "we arent done gang". He told me to wait till lunch till we can talk about it and I told him people could listen in on us so he tried to reschedule it to after school but I couldnt wait that long so I agreed for lunch. I was a little annoyed and said "It's a yes or no answer it's not that difficult" but apparantly it was more than a yes or no answer and it was "complicated"

Well, lunch rolls around and we go to an empty classroom to speak. Annoying ass kids peer they egg shaped heads into the classroom and laugh but we just ignore it. So, long story short L told me that he didnt see the point of us dating and said he's never been ina relationship b4 (i can tell) and I told him "me too but we can try it out for a few days or sumn" but he said he'd need fall break or more to think it thru.

So great, I just got rejected by a nerd (temporarily i think?) Even though I told him to js say "no" fully atp. I just took a big L to the face ig.