NEVER let a depressed teen yap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!1

(this might be my grief talking btw so ignore if it makes no sense)

death feels so wild to me, specially sudden deaths n shit,, like, bro, i talked to you yesterday,, wdym i cant do that anymore? wdym i wont be able to do that ever again? it feel so insane

i feel like you maybe maybe can be a lil more ready when someone dies out of something terminal, i mean, you already know whats gonna happen, you know that theyre gonna leave soon,, at least thats how i feel from what i experienced

grief is also weird to me. like fuck man, you left me n now i gotta feel this weird void because of you..thats not really fair, is it? n then you have ppl tell you the same "he wouldnt want you to be sad" bullshit,, does that really matter right now? i mean he left me out of nowhere, of course im gonna be sad n angry n feel all these emotions n stuff

n then grief has all of these weird side effects like delusions n panic attacks n shit,, MAN 😦

sorry for ranting as always, i just dont have anyone to talk to rn n i guess i needed to rant

(mega side note, i have no clue how to categorize this...)