Cries

Its midnight now, i had a fight with a friend, Its not REALLY about her or her fault and i feel bad , im just lonely and had a really bad day and im just getting older and older and i still haven’t met anyone new. I keep remembering old memories of my dad and his different girlfriends and how they all collectively hated me lmao and my dad didn’t help , or when girls from my school started shoving small rocks and old pieces of food in my mouth and my “friends” didn’t say anything but instead watched as i cried , or how whenever i set boundaries with anyone they say im mean, i dont want to be mean but i dont think thats how friends treat eachother ://. She was like being really rude and dry earlier because i had my phone taken away and couldn’t text her, after i explained she just kinda said how it was my fault and like she just doesn’t have the energy to text anyone and I apologised so many times she just didn’t respond, shes also been like talking about wanting a gf lately and im confused about my feelings bc i love her and i cant tell if that’s romantic or not and like alot of people have saod we should date but she always said shed never and that would b weird and stuffs and she has this friend who really doesn’t like me and she just lets the girl say horrible things about me and doesn’t do anythingm (◞‸◟；)