Here is the blurb I've written for an isekai about an entire family getting sent to another world. Chapter 1 is almost done. Feel free to send some feedback, I'd appreciate any pointers and tips, or general thoughts anyone has. Enjoy!
Book Title (still in the works): The Villain is Me!
An isekai that's fun for the whole family! Well… not for the family of Dustin, a 24 year old office worker, who while out with his family are caught spectating a dangerous police chase. As they get a closer look, quickly approaching is a tractor trailer driven by a man who looks to be Dustin's… robot doppelganger? This double has a vendetta, and darkness sets over Dustin. He then finds himself tied to a dinky boat barreling down a raging river with an eccentric group of hostages. It seems Dustin finally gets his isekai dream; or is this his specially crafted hell. Struggling to acclimate to this new world, he learns that his family ended up here too. His brother, Zander, gains audience with the King, and finds out that a pair of brothers are waging war upon the kingdom and each other. According to the King, the two brothers are alternate versions of the immortal brothers wreaking havoc! And are now tasked with the elimination of their otherworldly selves. The King gives Zander a special task, and a stern warning, which may alter his perception of his brother and complicate their quest. Something sinister is brewing in this world and how will these two brothers find a way to handle this monumental task ordered by the King?
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Evanescence, The Blue Lotus
Nice storyദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧
I think the summary feels rushed, the plots have gaps when introduced, more care in the transitions of the plot points would be nice, you could do it with breaking down the points (e.g. main premise, key conflicts, character dynamics). (^་།^)
For example, when the police chase leads to the introduction of Dustin's robot, try to tell more about that event that caused Dustin, and don't forget the emotions! What emotions did he feel in the new world? Confusion, fear, anxiety? (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥`)
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I meant Dustin robot doplangger ヘ(。□°)ヘ
by Evanescence, The Blue Lotus; ; Report