Questions for people who deal with depression

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I'm currently in remission from it (and have been for over a year now).

1. Ideally, it would involve people being more aware of how difficult it can be for some of us to even move during an episode with our limbs feeling like weights, and how truly awful this illness is for us suffers.

2. I've had to deal with kids making mental illness the butt of a "joke" all throughout my time in high school, plus, at the height of one episode I had between 15 - 16 years old, I would constantly ruminate over not having snakebites and feeling especially unworthy of having them upon seeing that one of my friends had them while I still didn't even though I had been wanting them for quite some time and yet had not been allowed to have them at the time (my mother had used the braces I had at the time as a stupid excuse for not letting me get them done).

So then, after coming home from my first day of my junior year of high school and having some salt already rubbed onto the open wounds in my heart (figuratively speaking, of course), I proceeded (and perhaps quite foolishly) to have a little talk with my mother once again about getting them and would try to inquire about her responses to my questions as she kept making up excuses and couldn't give me a good answer. My maternal grandmother stepped into the conversation and took my mother's stance on this. This conversation only made me feel worse and even more hopeless and defeated about my situation as I had been made to feel as if I didn't have autonomy over my own body and my own mouth.

To put a long story short, I did eventually take matters into my own hands by obtaining a piercing kit, waiting until after I arrived home from my Thursday, 10/6/2022 braces adjustment appointment at the orthodontist, pierced them both while my mother had fallen asleep that night before going to bed myself around 1 am or so, eagerly showing them off (plus my swollen lip as proof) to my friends and foolishly to my own mother in my excitement, then having the left one fall out and close up while I was asleep a few days later with my mother berating and arguing with me over it as I was very upset by this before reaching a negotiation later that evening (basically, she would take me to get it professionally repierced once the scar was healed enough as long I promised to NEVER pierce myself at home ever again), before finally getting it repierced right through the scar of the one I did at home by a professional after school on Friday, 12/1/2022.

3. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure, though I do feel that improving my lifestyle (such as exercising routinely and getting at least 6 hours or so of sleep) have helped, in addition to waiting it out, as I know that all episodes will come to an end eventually (at least for me, anyways). Drinking Monster energy every week or so for a few months also seemed to have helped me get out of my last episode from late January - late September/early October 2023 (with a short, yet distinct break between episodes from 1/21 - 1/25/2023 before I came crashing back down once again) and remain stable in addition to everything else I mentioned above. At least that's what's currently been keeping me sane throughout the past year.

That's just how my experience has been, of course, and your case may be different.

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1728776814

we can have a convo about this over dm if you want

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1728763855

i'll IM you.

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