i long to break from this cycle

I’m not sure why I’m writing this, but I guess it’s easier to spill my thoughts here than to face them head-on. Lately, everything feels heavy, and I’m drowning in this suffocating routine. 

I can’t shake the feeling that everyone around me is just pretending to care. My friends? They barely reach out anymore. It’s like I’m a burden they’re stuck with. And my family? I’m convinced they’d be happier without me around. I feel like a ghost, haunting my own life, just waiting for someone to notice.

I hate feeling this way. I hate waking up each day with a pit in my stomach, knowing it’ll be more of the same. I crave change, something—anything—that pulls me out of this darkness. I want to feel alive again, to matter to someone, to break free from this cycle of despair.

But how do you change when you feel so low? Every attempt feels pointless, like shouting into a void. I look around and see everyone else moving forward while I’m stuck in place, paralyzed by my own thoughts. 

I know I need to find a way out of this, but it’s hard to see the light when everything feels so bleak.

So here I am, reaching out into the digital ether, hoping someone else feels this way too. Maybe together we can find a way to change, to break free from the shadows.