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Alright, so I think I'm asexual, and honestly, I've come to terms with it (it took a while), but how do I tell my gf? She really enjoys kissing, and I'm not against it, but it's not something I wanna do all the time, yk? Doing sexual stuff also just kinda grosses me out, and idk how to tell her, She always made a point that I've given her more physical attention than anyone in her life, and I don't want to hurt her feelings, I've tried to tell her once, but the whole thing blew up in my face, so if anyone has any advice, please tell me because I really do love her but I just can't keep awkwardly kissing her on the cheek and I don't want her to feel like Im getting tired of her or smth ;-;
HELP PLEASE I NEED ADVICE
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Chaos Conspiracies
Like in all things, honesty is best. Be direct and honest with her, and make sure to discuss it.
One thing you need to be prepared for, though, is that not all allosexuals can handle a relationship with an asexual. Hopefully, if she loves you as much as you love her, then she’ll be able to deal with it and compromise with you. You do have to prepare yourself for the possibility that it won’t work, however. In any case, trying to hide your asexuality is only going to make things worse in the long run.
Before you talk to her, there are a few things you should ask yourself and be ready to talk about:
1.) How much are you willing to compromise? Are you sex repulsed, or just sex neutral? Would you be willing to have sex for her (even if you’re not really into it), or is it completely off the table?
2.) If you really can’t stomach certain actions, are there others that you would feel comfortable enough with? For example, if penetrative sex is a no-go, would you be comfortable using your hands? What could you do to satisfy her without making yourself uncomfortable?
3.) Especially if you’re just completely sex repulsed, how would you feel about her going elsewhere for sex? Would you be okay with her going out for one-night stands as long as she came back to you for romance?
When you talk to her, be sure to emphasize that you love her and want to make it work. Be sure that she understands that “it’s not you, it’s me”, but don’t use those exact words because that will sound like you’re trying to break up with her. It’s important that you focus on the spirit of compromise, and make sure that she understands your feelings.
There’s a good chance that she’s been feeling resistance on the topic of sex from you, and may have been worrying about it. This is a good time to put a lot of her fears to rest. Any mixed signals you’ve accidentally given haven’t been about her, it’s just part of who you are, and you want to find a way forward that you’re both comfortable with, and want to make it work.
Remember: communication is key!
I wish you the best, and I hope it works out for you!
Omg tysm much I've been really stressed about this lately and really needed some advice, ty so much
by Skullywillcry; ; Report