When My Boyfriend Said He Loves Me Because of My BPD

Something strange happened during an argument with my boyfriend recently. We were fighting, and out of nowhere, he said that he loves how possessive I get about him, and that he finds it attractive when I’m sweet one moment and treat him like crap the next. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It honestly made me feel sick to my stomach.

I’ve been trying to understand why he would say that, and why he thinks it’s a good thing. I know I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and sometimes my emotions feel like they’re all over the place. I can go from feeling super close to him to getting really angry or distant, and I know that must be tough on him.

But for him to say he likes that? It’s confusing. Is it really okay to find that kind of behavior attractive? Part of me feels like maybe he’s just into the drama or excitement, but that’s not what I want our relationship to be based on.

I don’t want to be loved for my outbursts or possessiveness. I want to be loved for the times when I’m calm, for the effort I put into getting better, and for the real connection we have when things are stable.

Hearing him say that made me realize we probably need to talk more about what’s really important in our relationship, because right now, I’m not sure if we’re on the same page. I want something healthy and balanced, not a rollercoaster of emotions. :-/