I don't know. death and love in a perspective.

this was already a bulletin but I liked the way I wrote it so now I blog-ified ts.

⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆⁠☆

the thought and inevitable reality of death has always been something I'm fearful of. I know I can't do anything to prevent it and that's the one thing I hate. so the realization that it might be closer than expected isn't doing to well on my mind.

I don't know. If there is one person I'd need to be with before I die it'd be him. I miss him terribly and I can't see him on my own will. I hate distance and I hate being a child. dear lord I need him. If he were to die I'd want to be right there next to him so when he is buried the earth is allowed to envelop us together rather than him alone. I can't bear the thought of him being isolated in such conditions, whether the soil is warm due to the heat in its planet's core or cold and distant due to the earth growing weary of it's inhabitants, he shouldn't have to be there by himself. If we die before we're allowed to marry then the one thing I'd be happy with is being connected to him until the sun burns out. even if the earth ends up being a desolate wasteland I'd have the bragging rights to say that I existed at the same time as him. I've had my heart beat against his before and I've had him hold me like I was heaven itself.

I suppose I do know then.