I know they said sorry....

I hate the fact that I stim so badly mostly when im bored.

Today was a bad one I was in a call and I started to list things off in my room from my pink bed down to the trash on my floor. My friend ended up telling me to shut up and muted me, I continued running around my room listing things off, shaking my hands and smiling. I like telling everybody everything. My friend eventually unmuted me but yet again yelled at me to shut up. I left the call cause my sister came home so I went to talk to her. I eventually went back upstairs were I shut down.

When I realized that I was probably being annoying I joined the call. Being dead silent. See I'm either really quiet or I'm rambling about things. But even though my friend said it was a joke it still hurt me. And I did cry for a bit and I talked with my boyfriend over txt. But I barely said a word in the call. I probably won't say much tonight and probably not going to say much tomorrow either. I might just not say anything anymore. 

Now I understand why Ophelia is my favorite shakespear character. I just want to drown myself to silence myself once and for all.