.no longer gifted

Oh boy, let me tell you about the rollercoaster ride of being a “gifted kid.” As a kid, it was all sunshine and rainbows, right?(cant really say yes,iwas abused lmao but just for the story). The accolades, the awards, the feeling of being ahead of the curve—everyone saying, “Wow, look at you!” I was the shining star, the prodigy, the one who could solve puzzles and read before the other kids could even spell their names. But somewhere along the way, that bright star started to dim. 

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Fast forward to now, and I’m drowning in this fog of burnout. The weight of expectations feels like a heavy backpack I can’t shake off. Once, learning was my playground, but now it feels like an endless treadmill—run, run, run, but get nowhere. I’m supposed to be thriving, right? Instead, I’m just tired. 

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It’s like I’ve been put on this pedestal, but all it does is make me feel like I’m always teetering on the edge, terrified of falling. The joy of discovery has faded into a chore, and every time I try to rekindle that spark, I just feel more lost. 

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I’m exhausted, not just from the pressure but from trying to live up to a label that feels more like a burden than a blessing. It’s hard to admit that being “gifted” doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It doesn’t mean you can’t struggle or feel burnt out. I’m tired of the hustle, the grind, the constant need to prove myself. I just want to breathe, to rediscover that joy, and maybe, just maybe, learn to be okay with not being “the best” anymore. 

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xokilljoy.stel