Me...

Karkat's Day: A Detailed Breakdown of My Existential Crisis

Alright, so you wanna know what a typical day looks like for me? Buckle up, because it's gonna be a wild ride.

8:00 AM: The sun, that giant, flaming ball of hate, decides to grace me with its presence. I begrudgingly roll out of bed, already feeling the familiar sting of existential dread.

8:15 AM: I stumble into the kitchen, where I'm greeted by the wonderful aroma of burnt toast and the equally wonderful sight of my mother's passive-aggressive "helpful" notes.

8:30 AM: I eat my breakfast, which consists of a carefully calculated amount of toast, cereal, and enough coffee to power a small nation. I also check my email, which is usually filled with pointless spam and the occasional existential crisis-inducing message from my friends.

9:00 AM: I head to school, which is basically a breeding ground for the most annoying, self-absorbed, and generally useless humans on the planet. I try my best to avoid eye contact with them, but it's hard when they're constantly trying to talk to me about their "problems."

9:30 AM: I spend the next few hours in class, trying to focus on the lesson while simultaneously battling the urge to scream at the top of my lungs. I also make sure to update my blog with my insightful thoughts on the futility of human existence.

12:00 PM: Lunchtime. I usually eat alone, which is fine by me. I prefer to avoid the chaos of the cafeteria, where everyone is constantly trying to shove their food down my throat.

1:00 PM: More classes. More existential dread. More screaming on the inside.

3:00 PM: Finally, school is over. I head home, exhausted and ready to escape into the world of video games.

4:00 PM: I spend the next few hours playing video games, which is basically the only thing that can distract me from the sheer absurdity of life. I also try to avoid any contact with my friends, who are all too eager to drag me into their pointless drama.

7:00 PM: Dinner time. I try to eat something healthy, but it's a constant battle against my own self-destructive tendencies.

8:00 PM: More video games. More existential dread. More screaming on the inside.

10:00 PM: I finally decide to go to bed, exhausted and filled with a profound sense of despair.

11:00 PM: I can't sleep. I'm too busy thinking about all the pointless things in life. I also can't help but think about how much better things would be if I were a troll.

12:00 AM: I finally fall asleep, only to be woken up by a nightmare about my mother's burnt toast.

Repeat.

And that, my friends, is a typical day in the life of Karkat Vantas. A day filled with the constant struggle for meaning in a meaningless world. A day filled with the constant battle against my own self-destructive tendencies. A day filled with the constant urge to scream at the top of my lungs.

So, if you're ever feeling down, just remember: it could be worse. You could be me.