I dont know what to do

I have nothing anymore, everything I do is boring. Nothing really makes me happy anymore, I'm going on holiday soon but I don't feel happy. I feel alone, and stupid. Like nothing and noone cares or likes me. Like I finally see what I am, what I the point if I constantly end up here again in this stupid room. In the last month I have felt closer and closer to my end. I don't want to but I always go there. I just wish I could have someone, a cat, a friend, anybody. I just need someone something so I don't lose myself. I've tried seeking love and care in others, in the Internet, in music, in art, in loneliness. But I still feel this way. Like a weight lifted from my shoulders and was put on my chest. I just want to feel okay.