Mirror of the Neocities version

Do It To Death

Why, yes, I can hear it now! I can hear the screaming in the distance, the voices asking me to stop! I can hear them scream to me again, asking.
No, BEGGING me to stop squashing their golden system! And my response, my friend... I must say that I do not give a single fuck what you think and think your bibilical angel needs to be burned!

Why are you booing me? I'm right!

A Sinful Miracle

What a completely broken down fucking piece of shit. This is going to be no nice post about the sunflowers, because oh boy, I am so fucking over that. There can only be so much sprinkes on a shit cake, and I've been done trying to say positive things about this OS for a very long time.

The way we have become glued to this piece of shit is just horrible. We're being forced to work with this dogshit because the entire computer market is nothing but putting the consumer on a leash. "Don't let that motherfucker move more than an inch, it might break a battery!". Fucking pathetic. You can wave your warrenty just by fucking breathing. Disable Secure Boot? No warrenty for you, little boy! Doesn't matter if it was a mistake you made fumbling the bios or on purpose to change your boot screen logo, it's gone FOREVER! Thanks a lot, UEFI. God.

Oh, I haven't even gotten to the fun part yet. Grand.

The Fun (Not Responding)

Oh how convenient, the header is not responding. A perfect opening.

That intro was pretty scattered. Not enough content, and too much randomness. Let's fix that by introducing the most infuriating thing that has been invented for ANY operating system ever: that grey overlay piece of shit.

Put your computer under enough load, and that piece of shit will appear. A simple game loading screen? Good chance you saw that when you clicked too much! Sitting in a system chug because it doesn't do your bidding and it's taking five hours to extract a zip file? You bet it's gonna stop responding! Try to speak and write this blog, not responding. Write a tweet, not responding. Can't even wipe my own- Oh, we're not that far enough into the blog to use that kind of language.
Well fuck the kids, they can just look away, can't they?

Windows just has a full PASSION for locking everything up, it's not even always through that piece of shit grey overlay. Sometimes it likes to prevent the mouse from going under the taskbar. Sometimes it likes to completely freeze the machine, locking up the mouse and sometimes the screen while leaving whatever you were hearing through the speakers going. Happened to be playing that annoying song you wanted to skip? Well, try to have fun when the computer locks up and all you can hear now is that annoying fucking music, locking you in purgatory for trying to have free thinking.

This shit is like a mutation, it's like everybody's form of it is different. Sometimes, explorer will restart. Sometimes it will not. Sometimes your programs will all quit at once when the computer unfreezes. Sometimes, it will return. It's fucking random, you get what I'm saying?

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON-

Glued to the Tape

Well, here it is. The thing I've been talking about nonstop for the past few years.

Windows is a complete clusterfuck that makes you clutch on bandaids. Send that to r/brandnewsentence, but it's a true thing that's been tried and shown, ESPECIALLY if you know what it's like to use a shell that isn't Explorer.
To put it short, it's a customization shitshow, and it gets worse the more you update. And once you go back, it's basically too late. You wanna see what that looks like?

Imagine you're on the latest version, like I imagine you are. In the last update, about four of your favorite gimmicks got nuked. Your color is now windows black instead of that nice grey or whatever neon color you use. Half of your icons got reset back and you have to wait two months for an update before you can change the icons back. In the meantime, more updates will undoubtably be released to make this take longer.

Additionally, about two very random things have been broken. What two random things, you say? Guess! Imagine two completely obscure and random features you use on Windows, if you can. Maybe one day you find out you can't open a specific menu you only use to change your default browser. Or maybe you're trying to print something and the menu is just completely fucked. THAT is how it feels to customize windows.

Okay, well that's about updates breaking things. But surely, you don't use anything special, surely you don't need all of this junk? loud incorrect buzzer

Here is what the situation ACTUALLY looks like. You use Windows Search, right? You're trying to find a file? Maybe you're looking for that PDF you need for work. Or maybe you're holding onto a text file with your passwords. Maybe you just need help finding the program you use every day? Yeah, that thing.

Well, it's junk. It's slow garbage, that's what it is. At least, in 10 and over. It might work fine, but the slower your hardware is, the more the seconds feels like minutes. You don't want to take five minutes to search a file, right? You don't want to be fucked in that way, right?

This is what you do. You slap Voidtools Everything on it. Cool, good as new. Except it's not, because that's only a file search. You need to find your programs and settings too, right? Flow launcher, discussion finally over, right?

No, it is not. We are not even STARTED. Not only are you still likely to have crashes on crappy hardware (especially hard drives), this is just a bandaid fix. And surprise, you're not even CLOSE to done talking about all the things you have to replace!

File Explorer is also crap. Unresponsible, buggy, completely confusing junk with no advanced ideas. Not to mention Microsoft wants ads where you launch your apps, in your face, in the background, and even While you're searching for your PDFs! What the fuck? Get this off my screen!

Okay, well that's pretty lame. Let's get Directory Opus and that will surely be done now- oh, right, you don't like subscriptions. Well, that one looked cool, but that's okay, we'll get XYPlorer instead and-

What do you mean, you have no cash? God, okay, we'll settle for Explorer++ instead, good god. You can put up with the instability that it magically has. Remember to pick up the dev build, the release build is 1.4 which was last updated in Janurary, pretty old.

Or you can try, because it's just as bad as File Explorer. Bookmarks are definitely an improvement and so are tabs (especially for my fellow outdated peeps), but holy SHIT do they design these like crap. I must have had over six crashes and maybe broke the shell integration at least twice? It's fucking amazing how this is still up, considering how busted it is. I used this back in march and it was SO bad, I persued Directory Opus through the means I knew. Do you know how bad you have to program a core system function to make a user PERSUE a drop-in replacement for the shell? That problem should have been left with Windows 95 and WINSTEP. Not with 10+.

The Update Gambit

I was about to summon you. Let's talk about gambling.

You like randomly throwing money with a near guarenteed chance to with nothing? Good, I assume you also do it on the daily, day in and day out every night when your wife isn't looking.

Cool, and you ever wanted to do that with a software update? Update day in and day out with a chance to lose your operating system and experience a really fucking dumb bug? Damn, that's too bad, you can do it anyway lol.

There's a bad update for everybody, from causing frequent laptop BSoDs after install to a magic update nuking your gaming performance, there is a new way to be fucked by everybody, for everybody. Considering how basically every year there's guarenteed to be at least one bad update pushed out, it's a miracle there hasn't been street riots over this shit. Can you imagine going to work and one day when you install new floors, the floor now is always bent? You would have not bought them old floors again, right? Why let Microsoft do that to you themselves? What's different?

Updates on their own are a beast and a half, just complete rigged garbage. How this company hasn't been completely cooked is beyond me considering every second update has a virutal bomb strapped to it. Every update is different for everybody, where one person can install it normally, when I try to install 22H2 Windows 11 suddenly the properties menu is all fucked and I no longer have a taskbar. What the fuck? What happened to "If it works, don't fix it"?

And you have to go through a bunch of work to undo the updates. This is even worse if your display is cooked or you're a complete dumbass who doesn't know how to use a desktop for shit. It's also twice as bad from my end because I'm a laptop and my internal display is cooked. So I'm basically stuck and have to preserve my install as long as possible since I can't navigate the BIOS or anything. Great.

Windows on Ol' Dinosaur

You want another place to throw shade? Throw it at the manefacturers. They're sticking Dinosaurs in new computers. Open that baby up and you'll probably find a hard drive in there. NOT an SSD. It's just dogshit.

So not only is the system coded like garbage, the manefacturers are undermining your intelligence. Well no shit, when you put in a 5200RPM drive, it'll run like shit. But nobody wants to put in the work of fixing their shit, they just want their stuff to look mighty and grand, for fucks sake. Who cares about performance when we can automatically assume everybody has a NASA computer? Let's focus on animations and other ridiculous overmined junk. Sure.

Now watch, as I make my disappearance! And come back later with a sequel.