why cant i ever be enough

i can feel depressive episode coming right now smh -_-.... i also always have a manic episode after one to!!!! i really fucking hate it when that happens!!!1!11 when this happens i tend to sleep and watch youtube all day xC and when i do i completely forget about my life and everything about me.. then my friends get super mad im not responding!!!!!! i fucking hate my life so much :(( like i never auctully realized how much of a bad life ive had .. like ive been homeless for half a year , abused by my dads also by my ex and have had so many times ive never been able to afford food 

im really tired...

ive been going to school though and its making me happy but its tiring :/ like this guy will not stop touching me , this guy wont stop telling me im cute ... i do have a crush >_<!!! hes super cute!!! he wears dc's and kinda dresses like me!! idk if he would ever like me though... I ALSO HAVE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! this girl seira has been talking to me alot and shes been asking me how im scene shes super funny xD!!!! also my bestie has been there for me alot!! shes been there in my lowest!!!no one noticed but her :> i love her but its platonic shes like my sister !!! 

i hope you all are doing good!!! honestly after righting for a little bit it felt good but ik no one will read this!!!

song of the day : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I-qqGQgdN0&list=RDcUhsMibCKEQ&index=13

peace !!!!!!!!!